Murphy\’s Bye-Laws

Law #4: Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. –H.D. Thoreau

Posts Tagged ‘identity’

“Identity” Theives: The Joke Is On Them!

Posted by PintofStout on October 15, 2007

Somehow someone has acquired some information about your finances and runs amok, dragging your name and good credit through the mud. Sometimes this involves a social security number (our quaint national barcode) among the various account numbers and such that may be tied to it allowing the thief to spend credit and maybe real money that doesn’t belong to them. This is what is considered identity theft, as if the whole of our identity can be distilled into various sets of numbers. The term “identity theft” somehow invokes a feeling of invasion stronger than just theft; something more akin to demonic possession, rendition, or the complete erasure of any evidence of your existence on Earth. (Sounds bad, doesn’t it?) The truth is they only get your money, the same as any thief, and the feelings of invasion and hurt are the same as having physical property stolen.

If someone tried to steal my identity and only came away with my money, I would think that they would be sorely disappointed. They would have missed my sense of humor, my friends and family, my intellect, my moods, my sense of self – in short, my identity. My identity is hard to steal due to its kinetic nature and constant metamorphosis (also being intangible helps).

The notion of being wholly composed of serial numbers, account balances, and credit history is as big of an affront to my identity as having these things hijacked for nefarious purposes. Any sane society would rightly consider the taking away of these things more of a liberation than theft. In fact, the real identity theft is as systematic as an assembly line and starts mere hours after your birth when you are tagged with your barcode. This is followed by at least 12 years of identity-snuffing “education” to make you like everyone else and then categorizing you in voting blocks and tax brackets, making the looting of your identity complete. At this point you become American, citizen, tax-payer, Democrat, employee, consumer, …. a number.


Posted in Discordianism, Introspection, Left Libertarian, Philosophy & Politics, Retarded Hyperbole | Tagged: , , , , | 11 Comments »