Murphy’s Bye-Laws is a play on my name and my desire to eliminate stupid laws, a.k.a. all of them. The blog covers some politics, political philosophy, introspection, what-have-you. The authors of the blog consist of myself (PintofStout) and my co-conspirator B___. (We have recently added RecessiveGene to the roster. I’m certain the readers of this blog will find his posts insightful and well-written. If he is engaged in discussion, whether agreeing or disagreeing, all involved will be delighted, I’m sure.) Our stories, as written by the other(s), are below.
B___ led a sheltered life (in the old coal room of his parents’ basement) until he broke out and attended college at UCLA (University on the Corner of Lincoln Avenue). After being conferred a degree in PolySci, Philosophy, and Personal Lubricants, B___ took a job selling hot tea to folks in Hell, which didn’t pan out (ice water vendors had the market cornered). So he took his degree and started peddling small engines and power equipment to the Amish, where he fell in love with a maiden named A___ (and her horse) and settled down to blog on Murphy’s Bye-Laws.
Raised by a pair of gay coyotes PintofStout spent much of his early life learning to forage, hunt small rodents and properly accessorize in the great Beaver Valley of Pennsylvania. PintofStout’s parents quickly realized that they could no longer run from the law as gay coyotes were no longer seen as suitable parents by the state. They were also tiring of making fluffer-nutter sandwiches, a difficult task when you lack opposable thumbs. They found a poor, unsuspecting woman with a large store of marshmallow fluff and peanut butter and decided he might be better off. Through the many trials and tribulations of Columbian society PintofStout emerged relatively unscathed from the public school system and his high school glee club, though he developed a penchant for science and always had a glassy look in his eyes. Physics was the science that was ultimately agreed upon by his personalities and a degree was obtained. Since leaving college life PintofStout has gone from town to town assisting local governments in assessing tax burdens on their subjects though deep in his heart he still longs for the freedom of his coyote life.
A by-product of a Viking pillaging raid (we all know what happens at those things), RecessiveGenes was orphaned (a common thread among Bye-Laws contributors) when his mother abandoned him to follow ABBA on the road. Left to grow up alone near the Finger Fjords in Upstate New York, ‘Genes enjoyed the conversations with small woodland animals who’d he then eat, saying, “I guess I win that argument. [Burp!].” When the common desire to find his real father overtook him he headed off to Ikea to buy a sailing vessel or “Flotedisk.” After assembling the device and stowing the extra parts in the paper-thin hull he set sail for Sweden. It turns out Genes the Viking was overly-prone to seasickness.
In the weeks of recovery that followed once landed in Sweden, the heretofore baby-faced Viking awoke one afternoon with a full and quite striking beard. When he stroked it the first time he suddenly became contemplative and was soon named Designated Drinker and Resident Beard-Grower at the Pillaged Peasant Tavern in Stockholm. In Genes’ new contemplativeness, he wondered why he didn’t fly to Sweden instead of sailing – romanticism and heritage be damned! Now he enjoys the company of small children and has only a used 1992 Nordic Track as his only means of transportation between contemplating blog entries at Murphy’s Bye-Laws.