Murphy\’s Bye-Laws

Law #4: Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. –H.D. Thoreau

Couldn’t Say Shit ‘Cause He Had a Mouthful

Posted by PintofStout on April 25, 2008

I was watching the NHL playoffs the other night on Versus (Go Pens!) when the rink-side reporter had an outtake moment, except it was live. When they cut back to the studio, the announcer there stumbled on his words as well. I figured it was because he was pretty much lying when he said technical difficulties were the culprit. Maybe it wasn’t even a blatant lie, but more of a fall-back lie in the industry. Even as little or automatic the lie was, something clicked in his brain and he stumbled on the words. There must be something in our brain that makes lying more difficult than not. I don’t mean to say it isn’t possible to lie fluently, but simply to say you may be more likely to be tongue-tied when trying to bullshit someone.

This made me think of our befuddled commander-in-chief and his notorious love-hate relationship with his first language. He has been ridiculed and mocked and imitated and satirized since the 2000 election campaign for his speech follies. Remember when he said “strategery”? Me neither; because he didn’t say it. Will Farrell said it in a piece of comic genius. Take that little factoid and put it in your lockbox for safe keeping, lest it get swiftboated by truthiness.

The presidential language gaffes have been easy to find and come across. When someone speaks as much and as often as the president, they’re bound to screw up. But many people speak as often and screw up far less. I would like to put forth the theory that the president fumbles his phrases on account of his having to lie through his teeth so very often. He must speak to a much larger audience than the hockey announcer and he tells much bigger lies. This administration has been downright organic in growing their secret files by heaping loads of bullshit on them. If George W. Bush stumbles on words and can’t find the right thing to say, it is certainly helped along because he is lying through his teeth. That and he may well be illiterate. Maybe this explains Laura’s pet cause of literacy.

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2 Responses to “Couldn’t Say Shit ‘Cause He Had a Mouthful”

  1. RecessiveGenes said

    The “cut to commercial” or “technical difficulty” lie in sports or entertainment is a lie that we don’t necessarily believe but nonetheless swallow. There is a possibility that a hard check into the boards might kill a player, but a little broadcasting lie does not affect lives at the Stanley Cup playoffs.

    A president’s words, as clumsy as they may sound, obviously have a profound effect on the lives of millions. The lives of Americans, as well as citizens of whatever nations the administration deems useful to meddle with, are influenced by the words of any POTUS.

    Lastly, I assert that George W. Bush is not like a typical, smooth-talking liar, such as Bill Clinton. For this reason, it is all the more remarkable that people buy into what Bush is shoveling out.

  2. I didn’t mean to indict the hockey announcer for lying. Like you said, we don’t have trouble swallowing it. Sort of like when someone asks how you are and you simply respond “good” or “fine” regardless of how shitty the day has been; we accept this because we usually don’t care anyway.

    The point was simply to point out that one, I think, is more likely to be tongue-tied when lying than when not. That brings us to our current POTUS. Maybe we swallow these lies because we don’t really care about that, either.

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