Murphy\’s Bye-Laws

Law #4: Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. –H.D. Thoreau

No Votes for Non-Believers

Posted by PintofStout on December 14, 2007

On account of presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s Faith-in-America speech last week, questions about the nature and existence of belief are on everyone’s mind. Romney made the argument that any belief – as long as it is monotheistic and similar enough to Christianity to be misconstrued as such – is far better than no belief at all. Backed up by polls indicating negative support for non-believers, it seems Romney made a sound political move.

Out this week is a new poll adding further weight to the push for believers in powerful offices. The poll, conducted by People for Pixies Party (P4PP) in conjunction with Pink Elephant Publishing, found that 61% percent of respondents wouldn’t vote for someone who didn’t believe in Santa Claus. SANTA CLAUS! How could better than 25% vote for such a nutcase that would not believe in Santa? Further questioning revealed that the preference wasn’t simply for Santa, but votes could be conscientiously cast for believers in Saint Nick, Chris Cringle, Father Christmas, Sinterklaas, or Papa Noel. Opposition to non-belief drops off in the electorate with the Easter Bunny and further still for the Tooth Fairy (much to the disappointment of the P4PP).

Many of the respondents sited tradition and a generally jolly attitude that is presumed to be attributed to and synonymous with their Santaism. The tradition argument seems to be grasping at garland, though, says Geoffrey Stone, a professor of law at the University of Chicago. He argues that the majority of the men that founded our nation didn’t adhere to Santaism:

These words no doubt sound shockingly blunt and “politically incorrect” to modern ears, but they were in fact the views of many of our most revered Founders.

It can’t be said for sure if our current sitting president is a believer, but it seems likely. I have to wonder though if Santa, who is bearded and probably looks kind of foreign, wasn’t a victim of extraordinary rendition and all his reindeer waterboarded in order to find any cells of rogue elves. I guess we’ll have to wait until Christmas Eve to know for sure. There is a ‘War on Christmas’ on, don’t ya know?

In light of these recent polls, will non-believers in Santa be forever in the powerless minority?

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8 Responses to “No Votes for Non-Believers”

  1. Anonymous said

    I’ve always felt a little upset that political races turn into popularity contests instead of a vote on (real) issues. Frankly, I would probably vote for someone who shared similar views on (real) issues even if we didn’t share core values.

    It’s funny how the political parties are trying to separate religion from the state, but not from politics and campaigning. Every 2 to 4 years you see the politicians trying to convince us that they are “like us” when they visit churches, supermarkets, post offices, etc but on any other day these millionaire snobs wouldn’t be caught in these locations. You would think the wolf would tire of throwing on the sheeps clothing. You would think the sheep would learn to be able to recognize a wolf in sheep clothing. . .

  2. I feel the same way. Refer to A Face Only a Real Mother Could Love for some more of my feelings. Or just check out all of the “Voting” category posts.

  3. thesofine said

    Sorry I keep leaving my moniker these last 2 comments.

  4. thesofine said

    Sorry I can’t write an intelligent sentence.

  5. That’s probably because you are an evil man who doesn’t believe in Santa.

  6. Jac said

    I’ve always felt a little upset that political races turn into popularity contests instead of a vote on (real) issues.

    I love it… Not only is it amusing, it serves to reinforce my belief that politics is a Bad Thing. 🙂

  7. Sunni said

    I agree with Jac, with a minor clarification: electoral politics is a Bad Thing.

  8. Jac said

    *Sigh* Picking nits… You knew what I meant. 😛

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