Posted by B_____ on November 1, 2006
Through a long, complicated and completely personal process I’m on the verge of getting married to a beautiful and wonderful woman. This makes me a happy man on so many levels but it also makes me very unhappy elsewhere in my mind. My major problem is that I cannot wrap my mind around the largely symbolic but very real process of approaching an official of the state and applying for a marriage license.
I wonder where this idea started. I’m not going to research it but I’ll supply some punditorial (my new word) conjecture to the matter. I’m thinking that some people that I don’t know and who don’t know me think that they have the power to regulate what is a deeply personal relationship and commitment between two people. Maybe they’re on to something.
Maybe I can’t make such a weighty decision on my own. I’ve made some pretty poor ones under the influence of alcohol and members of the opposite sex but haven’t most people? Maybe I should ask someone or a panel of my peers (or “betters” in their minds) before I make such an important decision. After all a judge or magistrate has a much better idea of how I should live my life than I do.
I’m hoping the sarcasm is coming through. Think about what you do when you get married in a state sponsored way. You’re asking the state to sanction a personal relationship between two people. That’s crazy talk there and if you don’t think it’s crazy talk please take a day off of work, school or whatever it is that you do and think about who you want to make decisions for you. If you’re ok with an individual, a board of individuals or maybe a popular vote deciding what shoes you should wear in the morning then maybe the state sanctioning of marriage is right for you. Otherwise please use your brain and think about the consequences the state regulating your life.
I’m not trying to take anything away from the formal and legal aspects of marriage such as child custody and shared assets. In those cases a marriage between two people should be registered with an organization in case those parties dissolve their relationship. That sounds a bit dry but it should be dry. I’m even willing to go a step further and say that maybe two men or two women should be able to register as a married couple if that’s what they choose to do. That doesn’t mean that I “support” gay marriage. That means that I am absolutely against any group regulating a relationship between two people. There’s a difference there. I don’t care if you think that two men being together in marriage is an abomination in the eyes of God because I’m not asking you to look at that relationship in any other way. What I do care about is whether or not you think that some other group or moral code should have the right to decide what you can do and what your moral code should be. And I know what you’re thinking Rick Santorum but animals and children obviously lack the legal standing to engage in that kind of a legal relationship.
In conclusion and in spite of my mind I will probably go through the same process that millions of others have gone through before me. Every day I live within a system that does things to me I feel are immoral. At least I’ve taken off the blinders and see the puppet masters dancing around in Plato’s proverbial cave for what they are. I still love my future wife more than anything in this world and want our family to grow in a hassle free environment.